Monday 26 May 2014

BEYOND THE HIT-AND-RUN MENTALITY

No, don’t be afraid, move deeper. It will
happen because the more you become
centred, the more relaxed you become,
the more possibility there is to enter
into a relationship deeply.
In fact it is you who goes into a
relationship. If you are not there,
tense, crippled, worried and
fragmented, who is going to go deep?
Because of our fragmentedness, we
are really afraid of getting deeper into
a relationship, into deep layers,
because then our reality will be
revealed. Then you will have to open
your heart, and your heart is just
fragments. There is not one man inside
you – you are a crowd. If you really
love a woman and you open your
heart, she will think you are a public,
not a person – that is the fear.
That’s why people go on having casual
affairs. They don’t want to go deep;
just hit-and-run, just touching the
surface and escaping before anything
becomes a commitment. Then you can
only have sex, and that too,
impoverished. It is just superficial. Only
boundaries meet, but that is not love
at all...maybe a body release, a
catharsis, but not more than that.
The fear is that now you want to go
deeper; it is not that the girl may be
lost. You are afraid and hesitant. We
can have our masks easily if the
relationship is not very close, very
intimate – the social faces function
well. Then when you smile there is no
need really for you to smile, just the
mask smiles.
If you really want to go deep then
there are dangers. You will have to go
naked – and naked means with all the
problems inside known to the other.
When you cannot have an image, your
reality will be open and vulnerable,
and that creates fear. But we go on
deceiving ourselves and saying we are
not afraid of that, we are afraid that
the girl may leave. That is not the fear.
In fact deep down you may be wanting
the girl to leave you so there is no
trouble about going deeper into a
relationship.
Go deeper. Nobody is hindering the
path. The groups and meditations here
are going to help you, and soon you
will be able to. If you are there, then
you can always find someone to love.
If you are not there somebody else
may be there but that will only be
physical presence, and of no use,
because you remain alone.
Go and watch couples, people married
for years: they live a lonely life, and
they live alone. They have never been
together, and they have learned all
sorts of tricks about how to avoid each
other, how to escape the other. The
husband says, “I love you,” and kisses
the wife and everything, but these are
just to keep away, not to go deep.
Don’t be afraid...just take the jump!
Osho,

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